So I have an exam in about 3 hours. But here I am doing this post.I just wanna go under some rock and hide for a couple of weeks. Been feeling so hot and cold recently. Well, actually for the last couple of months. It’s not that I’m not appreciative of your efforts. Honestly, you’ve been extremely lovely to me. Except for that one issue. Other than that, you always always always make me feel special.  But it’s just that one thing you do, and I just get so mood out and say things that I don’t usually say. As much as I hate it, i have become super dependent on you. I spent most of the last 5 months (it’s April now) with you. I don’t know what’s gonna happen when you go back. I never used to be sure about how I felt about you. But now, as scary as it sounds (hell lot) I’m starting to see this going somewhere. I think?But only one thing is stopping me.

And I’m ashamed to say this, but I become this really mean person with you. I can’t control on my anger and just say all these nasty things to you. But it’s really not my fault for feeling this way. You brought this upon us.

The thing is, even after how awfully I treat you, and how I always try to push you away, you never ever ever gave up on us. You keep trying again and again. Maybe this is what I need? Someone that doesn’t give up on me.

But the real question is, is this all real? Is this all worth it?